A Spirit's Musing
by candyazngirl
Summary: I, the Spirit of the Ring, am fading. I had over 3000 years to think about my existence and only a short time to think about my relationship to my landlord. I realize some things right before I planned to leave. I didn't have much time left. Rated for the depressing theme. One shot.


"You're the same as me, landlord," I told him as I caressed his cheek gently.

I've have had many landlords before him, but he was special. He didn't drive himself crazy with my voice in his head. He was a wimp and I hate that, but he was definitely stronger than Marik or that little short midget that was the host of the Pharaoh.

My landlord, though he claimed to hate me, accepted me. I knew the reason why he could do it so easily. He wasn't like that midget that believed the good in everyone. I'm glad he isn't. I don't think there's any good left in me since the days of Ancient Egypt. After all the murder, stealing, and plotting revenge, I'd be surprise if I suddenly wanted to turn to the light side where the Pharaoh apparently stood. There was just no place for me in that world. My landlord knew that, but he'd always ask me to spare his friends.

Landlord was caring over people that he can barely call friends. He knows that they weren't really good friends of his since they barely recognize him throughout all his adventures. They even mistake me for my landlord. Isn't that funny?

The reason my landlord accepted me wasn't because he cared about me or believed that were some kind of hope to savage what was left of me. He didn't believe in any of that. He knew of my past, after days of touring around my soul without permission. It wasn't on purpose. He was curious, like the rest of mankind. If he knew what was going on in my soul, in my memories of Kul Elna that held scars deeper than he could imagine, then he wouldn't have went near my Soul Room.

Even though my landlord had seen my painful past, he did not pity me like others would. He did not anger me by saying that he was sorry. He was silent, as if he too was mourning for my family and friends that died that night. He could do this, because he knew what it was like.

His sister and mother died of an early death. Landlord's father was never home. I barely even remember his face, now that I think of it, so he was practically dead to my landlord. My landlord's friends have fallen into a coma that they barely had any hope of waking up. He blamed me for that, but it was the part of Zorc that was attached to me at the time. It didn't really make him feel any better though. He blamed me and hated me for it. He also blamed himself. His friends were practically dead to him now and by his friends I don't mean that midget and his idiotic friends.

"I hate you," he'd whisper to me when he stared in the mirror. He couldn't possibly see me as I was in my soul room, but he knew that I could still hear him. The sound of disgust could be heard in his voice. I probably deserve it, but this whole ordeal made me realize something.

My landlord was a lot like me. Though, I hate to admit it, he was exactly like me. He blamed himself for other misfortune, even though he didn't have the souls of his love ones haunting him. He also blamed the person that seemed to be responsible, just as I blamed the Pharaoh for all my suffering. He had lost his friends and family, as I have lost mine. We were both weak from the tragedy. The only difference was that he searched for strength in new friends. I took strength with my own hands to take revenge. My landlord might have been stronger than I was.

"It's kind of funny," I'd say out loud to him while he was preparing for school. He'd look at me through the mirror. "We're a lot alike."

He gave me a glare that he would only give to me. It kind of made me feel kind of special in a weird and twisted way. He'd only look at me that way. I was the object of his hatred and emotions that he would never share with anyone else. Heck, I bet that the bloody midget thinks that my landlord doesn't have the heart to hold a grudge.

"We're nothing alike," he'd say. He continued to brush his long locks. "Except in looks. I'm not cruel like you."

"That maybe true," I replied. "But we come from the same circumstances. You know what it's like to lose everyone around you."

"Because of you," my landlord retorted and I'd just laugh. It was an empty laugh. I knew it that much, but it had my host's hairs stand up. It took a while, but my landlord developed the sense to argue with me. What could I do now to threaten him? He stayed away from his friends so I wouldn't hurt them anymore and I couldn't hurt him because I needed him. He knew that.

Perhaps, if my landlord had spent the time I did thinking about this, he'd realize that I was right. I couldn't sleep so it gave me a lot of time to think about everything. Sometimes the nights felt long, but I could stand it since I spent 3000 waiting for the right host.

Now, I continued to wait, but I wasn't alone anymore. The classes at the school that my landlord were dull and boring, but I'd let my Hikari enjoy the times of peace, before I'd take over his body. I stole some things to keep a stash of money nearby in case my landlord's father actually did die. It was something I hid from my landlord. No matter what age, money was power so I needed to make sure that I had enough on hand.

My landlord would always yell at me when I allowed him time to do his homework and other meaningless things like television. He didn't like how I pushed him into his Soul Room whenever I take over his body. He'd accuse me of murder and other unsavory things. He'd tell me that I caused him so much trouble, but he would never tell me to go away.

"If you hate me so much," I said as he was working on a math problem. "Why don't you ask me to go away?"

"Even if I did, you wouldn't listen to me," he replied as he made a gesture with his hand for me to leave him alone, because he needed to keep up with his school work. It was our disguise that everything was okay. It was his way of staying normal, even though I was inside of him.

I wonder what he would do if I went away?

There was really no point now that Zorc had separated from my soul. I had to do it forcefully. I knew he was the one that possessed me. I didn't like it. I didn't want to be controlled by anybody. If I wanted my revenge then it has to be with my own hands. But with Zorc gone, I could feel my resolve weakening to hold onto the Ring. Perhaps I'm meant to pass on soon.

"Landlord," I said after he was done with the work. "Let me control your body for tonight."

"What? You never asked before," my landlord said, catching on quite quickly.

"As I expect from you, Landlord, clever as ever," I told him with honest feelings, but he doesn't buy my compliment at all. He expected me to take what I wanted when I wanted. Which was normally what I would do, but lately, I feel weak. I couldn't let him know that I was _dying_. No, I was too stubborn for that. "I just want a walk, but I didn't actually feel like I need a walk so I thought I'd let you decide."

At first he was silent, and then he questioned why I was doing this. He asked why I needed a walk, where I snapped that I just did. The questions were irritating me and I started to get violent. As hard as I could possibly do with my lack of strength, I pressed him against his desk. His eyes were filled with shock and fear, but then they formed into some other emotion. I didn't know what it was.

"You're weaker than before," he stated. He didn't if ask if he was right or not. He just said it out loud like it was a fact, and sadly it was. He looked around and scowled.

"I just can't afford to harm you, because I need your body to survive," I told him, which was a plausible lie that wasn't entirely a lie. He looked at me. Those damn eyes. My landlord saw right through my act. I knew he could, but somehow I wished he wouldn't. He didn't say anything at all and remained that way. It was like he was mourning over someone. I wasn't dead yet, landlord!

"Fine! Don't let me take over your body," I said out in a huff as I went back into my Soul Room. The place was empty really, except for the window that showed me the village I used to live in. In the window I could see my family and friends playing. It made me want to join them, but that was just an illusion in my head. The rest of my room was blank. I didn't want anything else other than revenge for them.

I'd remember Ryou's Soul Room clearly. There would be paintings and drawings that were scattered around like a mess. His was wide and vast with lush grass that was as far as anyone could see. It wasn't concrete sidewalks or desert sand. It was moist green grass that felt nice to touch. As much as I enjoyed being in his Soul Room, I wasn't strong enough to leave mine without feeling drained.

"Kura?" my landlord asked. I wanted to ignore him, but this time I couldn't. He was in my doorway. "What's happening?"

"I don't understand what you're talking about, landlord," I said as I rolled over to my side. He walked over to me and touched my forehead. He was checking to see if I was having a fever or something like that. That was absurd. A spirit wouldn't have a fever.

"I'll miss you," he told me. I sat up sharply and looked at him. Did I forget to close my mind link? "Yes, you did."

I sighed, now that my landlord knew the truth. I forced a smirk onto my face.

"You're finally going to be free of me, aren't you happy?" I asked. I looked into his eyes and saw sadness. Was that loneliness in his expression?

My hearing and sight began to fade as I found myself weaker and weaker.

He said something to me, but I could barely hear him or make out the movement in his mouth. However, by the reaction of his face and how he was shaking me. I could tell he was yelling at me. There was only one pair of words that I could make out before I faded out of existence.

Don't go.


End file.
